That Shocking Moment

‘Tis hard to explain the shock that you feel,
Upon hearing of diseases no one can heal.
Emphysema is one, made me feel like heel,
Cheating my loved ones, gives them a raw deal!

Doctors may tell you that you have ten years,
Not really knowing how you deal with fears.
Your mind may go numb, eyes well up with tears,
Stomach may flop, knowing ‘Your End’ appears.

Gasping for air, your blood pressure will rise,
Fears overwhelm; the mouth suddenly dries!
For a few moments, you wrestle with cries,
Disbelieving your ears, then finally realize.
 
Now your life changes, the choices you make,
Suddenly identify if you’re really a flake!
You must have allies to de-lay your wake,
So pull it together, this won’t be a clambake!
 
Fighting to breathe with this dread disease,
Life will continue in spite of my wheeze. 
Making new choices, some just to appease,
Activities are cancelled that would really please.
 
Priorities change; there’s less time to make
Decisions about life and things to forsake.
Your health will dictate the pleasures you take,
Best be real careful, can’t afford a mistake!

Don’t fall apart; there are worse things you see,
I’ll do what I must to pursue living by sea.
Scared out of my wits, I seek those who agree,
It’s not a death sentence, at least not for me!

New Way Of Living

To look at me there's nothing wrong, it’s all inside you see,
But once you hear me laugh, you experience fragile me.
Lungs will not support my voice; scarcely express my glee,
Enjoying another glorious day or breathing air that's free.

I'm labeled as disabled, there's a placard on my dash,
Another in my wallet accompanies dwindling cash.
I park near doors, walk real slow, 'dash' from sash to sash,
Because cold air or pollen, may cause my lungs to crash!
 
Primary doctor ordered tests, to see how I would fare,
Determining how he'll proceed, with my path of care.
CAT scans, x-rays, EKGs, blood tests by the pair,
Cardiograms, PFTs, treadmills tattle my despair.
 
Walking measured course today, to test my oxygen rate,
Checking heart ‘n lung capacity from start to finish gate.
Meters check my blood gas-es, to see if I deflate,
Ideal is ninety-five percent, I'm gasping at eighty-eight!
 
Now I must have oxygen, to help me every day, 
Compressor form, liquid form, portable for ‘play’,
Tethered by my air hoses, ‘tis living a whole new way!
Alas, it beats the alternative of watching family pray!

A Silver Lining

The day was magnificent! We had many plans.
Spring filled the air. We contemplated tans!
Living with C-O-P-D, I also celebrate the sans,
Of allergies, dust, pollen and burning bans.

Car loaded we drove, to share this great day,
Of shopping, lunch, movie, just trying to play.
We luckily parked, without having to pay,
There's even a chance, to see new grandson Clay!
 
We'd heard on the radio, the weather was fine,
But cautioned of inversions and pollen of pine. 
We shopped until three, then took time to dine,
As pollen overwhelmed me, like crushing a vine!
 
We scrambled to car, medicating with a pair
Of meds I must carry, for lungs that need air.
My color turned white, I suddenly knew to repair
To a different location where air would be fair.
 
We drove forty minutes, scurrying from town,
Partner now frightened, observing with frown.
C-O-P-D patients cannot play like a clown,
If dangers of pollen prompt shutting lungs down!

Until we get ill, we don’t' know living on dole,
Or forsaken joys, singing 'round barber pole,
Of family, work, fun, why I can't even bowl!  
So now I write poems, with my heart and soul!

One Fine Day

The weather outside, it's sunny and bright,
People are playing, they shout with delight
At a warm springy day, with wonderful sight,
Of birds, trees and grass, impervious to plight.

I ache to be with them, to join in the fun,
To share a few laughs, even throw in a pun.
But, alas I am hostage, as if held by gun,
Ravages of illness prevent fun in the sun.

My breathing is heavy. It’s the pollen you see,
Makes my life difficult, coupled with C-O-P-D.
I try just to walk, 'round my pea patch by sea,
Suddenly there's dust! Cruel, how breezes can be.

My weight has gone up, steroid meds they took hold,
Illness kept me inside while the weather was cold.
My health spirals down, I must avoid mold,
Awaiting procedures that can restore me to bold.

To all who might read this, I'd just like to say,
Don't ever try smoking, not even one day.
For sooner or later, you will have to pay,
By watching the others enjoy the fine day.

Dressing For Success

Surgeons set my appointment, a consult they say,
And said "On your way in stop to get an X-ray."
I arrived and parked early, not sure where I’d stray,
Wandering large hospital this wonderful day.

Nuclear Medicine ‘waited, just like it’s mapped,
I quipped with the lady, “I’m ready to be zapped.”
She told me, “Just take a seat. Try not to get flapped.
A tech will come get you and you will be unwrapped!”

Techs led me to X-ray, 'twas exactly at two.
She said "Take off your shirt and your undershirt too!
Let the suspenders hang low, don't wanna see through
Nothing but lungs and those curly hairs too!"

With hands in my pockets, I pressed shoulders to plate,
Set my chin on the top as she shouted, “Inflate!”
Picture now taken she says “Turn right my dear mate.
Both hands grab the high bar.” I now knew my fate!

Protesting my dropped pants, she said, "Don't be in fear,
I've seen it before. I promise I will not leer!”
Assuming the position, my chest was now clear,
My pants dropped to the floor, exposing what’s dear!

This awkward exposure did not last very long,
Taught me some lessons about things I had done wrong.
All my future x-rays found me humming a song,
Dressed in a sweat suit, smugly grinning along!

Everyday Choices

With breathing disorders, life can be a thrill,
When weather’s not good or if there’s a chill.
Everyday things, once loved can now kill,
Just struggling to do, requires oxy or pill.

Simplest of pleasures, we all took for granted,
Now become scary, prompt de-cisions slanted.
Shopping, parties, working in a yard planted,
Are subject to cautions, of what doctors chanted.

C-O-P-D patients know that dangers abound
From normal activity like flying from ground!
Each takeoff, flight, landing, in or outbound,
Give multiple exposures, environmentally found.

Humidity, temps, pressure, some high ‘n some low,
Dramatically change, as pilot I know.
Its equally true, grocery shopping or show,
While fine when you enter, exits can be a blow!

The choices we make, as patients while ill,
Reflect how we feel, our fears and our skill.
We project strong desire, attitude and goodwill,
Protecting ourselves, we’re involved by sheer will!

Doing My Best!

COPD is tough - you never know what's next.
As soon as you learn one thing, up pops some new text!
In rehab I learned breathing; doing while not vexed,
Now I'm home and strug'ling, I surely must be hexed!

Bought a harmonica, an old used treadmill too,
Got a big round ball to use; my, it's really blue!
Bought some wrist and hand weights, I really had no clue,
Of all the things I'd started; now I'm saying – Whew!

Exercise is great you see, I walked everywhere,
Until my left knee buckled; dumped me over there!
Now exercise is talking, typing some to share,
Laughing every chance I get, eating when I dare. 

Hobbling now with cane in hand, in day's fading light,
I review all events that made this day so bright.
Lifting hand to mouth with food, my favored delight,
With hand and wrist weight accents, dining is a sight!

Changing Perspectives

Life had been good, been riding the wave,
had a great family, even had a nice cave.
Managed to reach fifty, plus five with a rave,
kids were all grown, no thought of a grave.

When all of a sudden, one day came a pain,
could not explain it, didn't come with the rain.
Went to see doctors, they all tried in vain,
to diagnose ailments, even tried the veins main.

Many months later, a diagnosis grew clear,
a breathing disorder, emphysema - no cheer.
Then finally COPD was declared in full gear,
It's really shocking; it'll fill you with fear.

For when you get sick, all things you hold dear,
are suddenly changed; just breathing's hard here.
I medicate daily, taking great care just to steer,
a course back to wellness, no time for a tear.

Now singing and playing the music I adore,
often laughing, loving or just yelling 'fore!'
must wait for doctors who can tell me once more,
"Resume your great life, we suggest with amore!"

Now I sit waiting for the doctors to save,
what's left of my lungs, so I won't be a slave,
to the simplest of chores, trying just to behave.
I'm here to tell you, it can hurt just to shave!

In spite of the ailment, the future looks bright, 
enjoy every moment, every smell and delight.
Our life is a treasure, it's worth the good fight,
overcome your plights, the results will be right!

Celebrating One

Clayton Tanner Vogel celebrates one year today,
He is bound to have toys, with which to play.
So my contribution, are words cast for Clay,
in hopes of your happiness, on this joyous day.

As proud as Grandfathers, are likely to be, 
It's hovering Grandmothers, who want to hold ye!
Some family and friends, will do honor to thee,
But, Grandson I'm sorry, that it cannot be me.

Today I am with you, just in spirit you see,
My heart fills with gladness just knowing you'll be,
Surrounded by loved ones, that's your family tree,
Who celebrate birthdays, with your family of three.

Happy Birthday my grandson, there'll be many more.
For now enjoy family and your friends who adore.
My small gift for savings, is delivered to the door,
Of your mom and dad's house, given with amore!

Savoring Life

I've lived my life full, always doing my best,
Thrilled with each moment, barely took time to rest.
Counted my blessings, experienced many a fest,
Especially art and music; made many a request.

The joy of the people, I found at those places,
Could lift people up, from the darkest of spaces.
Skills honed to perfection, reflect in the faces,
Of artisans displaying all manner of graces.

Be strong in conviction, in Faith and in hope,
Enjoy all the things that help you to cope.
But foremost of all, stop being a dope, 
If offered tobacco, just tell 'em nope!

With diseases of lung, life turns on a dime,
Affects loved ones a lot, the ability to rhyme.
All things you would do to express your good time,
Can suddenly force communication like mime.

I don't know one person, with an illness like mine,  
Who wouldn't trade all, for the chance to opine
Of breathing freely again, enjoying family fine,
Or doing fun things, which make living divine.

Favorite Father's Day

When you get ill, thoughts turn to the past,
Of family activities, with frequent repast,
To memories of fun and moving real fast,
Just doing together, the real things that last.

Dan was provider of my best Father’s Day,
Aided by siblings who showed up to play.
They coaxed me to dress, prepare for a day,
Of excitement and fun, refused my nay say!

Hi-jacked for the day, Debi drove her small car,
In a direction unusual, so it wasn't for par!
Boys squeezed in the back; my head cleared the bar,
Sticking through sunroof, hopefully not far!

Dan made arrangements, to fly with The Boys,
Known as Red Barons, in their marvelous toys!
Excitement leaped high, ent'ring this airfield of joys,
Where Stearmans were parked, eager with poise!

Instructed in 'chutes, the equipment and pace,
My barnstorming gear dons firmly in place!
Now seated in cockpit, big grin on my face,
One last hurrah with flight's freedom and grace.
 
Seatbelt and straps, tightened and checked, 
Red Baron tests comm gear, "Ready?!" he asked.
Thumbs up, I reply, when I ought to be gassed,
To quell my excitement, the adrenaline massed! 

We taxied in pairs, these Red Barons and I,
Lined up on the runway, in formation to fly.
Engines roar as we roll, "Smoke on!" flying by,
While Debi took pictures, we jumped to the sky!

Flying south to a mountain, 'tis Rainier in the sun,
We'll do aerobatics, where real wings get won!
The wind whips my cheeks, while preparing to run,
Through glorious maneuvers, pilots call fun!

Ten minutes we flew, toward snowcapped Rainier, 
When Red Baron began, calling moves in my ear.
We loop, roll and turn, without any fear,
Gravity, skill, harness prevent falling from here!
 
Snowcapped Rainier, zips through my sight,
With every maneuver, inverted and upright.
With snap-rolls real sharp, figure-eights tight,
Tailspins and dives made a magnificent flight!

Euphoria complete, we turn to-ward base,
While other Red Barons, quickly gave chase.
Sharing the controls, I flew my own pace,
Heart filled with joy, huge grin on my face!

Landing was perfect, I stepped from the plane,
Glanced quickly inside, to check for a stain!
Handshakes ‘n thanks to these Daredevils main,
Hugs for my children, for this memory gain!

There's nothing to replace that wonderful joy,
Of being with family and playing with toy.
Take time for your loved ones; it really is poi,
Food for your soul, you will always enjoy!

Huffin' n Puffin'

Man, I’ve been lucky! My operation’s done!
Breathing now is easier. I even shared a pun!
Work begins anew, if I’m to have some fun,
Golfing, loving, teasing, enjoying what I’ve won.

I requested rehab, they sent me to St Pete,
Where Pulmonary Rehab, means walking on your feet!
Plugged into a computer, that monitors each beat,
Watched over by a Therapist, who will not let me cheat!

Walking for my health, I’m prodded and I’m poked,
Encouraged to get better, by a Therapist who’s stoked!
My vital signs get taken, confirming I’m not choked,
From all my efforts walking or the ego he has stroked! 

Thirty minutes later, when I’m ready for some rest,
My Therapist encourages, "progress to be my best"!
Sipping juices in between, we move on to a test,
Where aerobics build my stamina, expanding my big chest!

Pulling weights, lifting weights, leg lifts on a machine,
I guard against eruptions, from my lunch with a bean!
Finally leaving old St Pete’s, I will take time to preen,
Reminded of my Honor Guards and when I was Marine!

Twice a week of doing this, my insurance has expired,
My need goes on to exercise, the skills that I’ve acquired.
I’ll use my home equipment now, to see if I get wired,
To follow all the teachings, that my therapist inspired.

And so the final test is set, that measures me to task,
My exercise ‘n breathing work, can’t hide behind a mask.
Now it’s up to me to do, in achievements he could bask,
But, if I need some help from him, I only need to ask!

Sharing My Love

Until you get ill, you never know the regret,
Of breathing freely or the joys that you get,
Doing simple daily chores, the fun we beget,
While walking in sun or singing in a quartet.

One moment you're fine, the next may be bad,
It's hard to predict the kind of day to be had.
For breathing is needed to do everything glad,
Sick lungs will forbid, you do anything rad’!

You drive down the road, smile on your face,
Suddenly you're coughing, as if hit with mace.
You impact your loved ones, those you embrace,
While one moment smiling, concern takes its place.

We count on our loved ones, to help us in need,
There's housing, loving and attentions to feed,  
Yet caring for illness can force families to deed,
Lifetime possessions to those who praise greed!

I count my blessings, for in spite of my stew,
I’m joyfully sharing, prized possessions anew.
My poetry tells stories, I share them with you,
‘Tis one way of loving, before I bid you, adieu!

Joyful Agravations

Ah, the joys of travel! Tis summertime once more,
Time to make some choices, a task you can't ignore.
Where to go, what to do, some choices I deplore,
Traveling is a must, if joys you wish to score.

Outings with the family, art and craft fairs too, 
Picnics and some meetings, can beckon with a brew.
Festivals and conventions, offer something new,
And then I checked my budget; now I'm feeling blue!

The cost of things has risen, some are out of sight,
Wild weather all around us, aggravates our plight.
Pacing is our mantra; that must apply to flight,
Sights and plights of travel, give me a real flight fright!

This year I'll join people, who don't go very far, 
Loving music venues, where anyone can star.
I'll even drag my banjo, house it in the car,
Til it's time to jam with them, see if I'm to par.

With travel range that's local, there can be good fun, 
Avoiding all the high fees, I now choose to shun!
In spite of my ve-hi-cle, I'll enjoy the sun, 
With 'burgers and some hot-dogs; someone pass a bun!!