Mom's Poem

Mom wrote the most beautiful poem I’ve ever known
It read like this:

DEMPSEY
   R
LAGRIMAS

 I LOVE
  YOU
  MOM

She wrote it with a broken stick
blown close from a nearby baby birch tree
and wrote it in the new dirt
they put on Dad’s grave because
his marker wouldn’t be ready till spring

When she finished
she walked back around to this side
to rearrange the red carnations
she brought for Dad the day before

As she knelt down
I watched the frozen rain
bounce and fall off her umbrella
into her poem
with her tears

and I cried
knowing that I will never write anything

as beautiful as
Mom

The End of Winter 2001

Now that the snow has melted
the twigs and leaves that fell last fall
from the neighbor’s locust tree
float lifeless in the puddles in the divots
in the blacktop by the garage
where Dad use to have the Dodge up on the jack
working on something that just went wrong the day before

I tried to sweep away the fall remains after winter’s passing
but I couldn’t get to the twigs stuck under the driver’s side front tire
where Dad showed me how to change break pads
and bleed the line by pumping the pedal four times
then holding it down until the pedal dropped to the floor
and I’d yell “down” from the drivers seat
stretching my legs to make my toes reach
and sneaking one of his butter cookies
that he kept in the car for snacks while he worked

Now that the snow has melted
I sweep around the Dodge
and leave the twigs stuck under the front tire
until I can move the car out of the driveway

but I can’t bring myself to open
the cold winter tomb of the Virgin Mary
hanging in solemn silence from the rearview mirror
blessing the stale air and stained shop towels
and cookie crumbs and memories sealed in with her
even though the doors haven’t been locked since early winter

when Dad stopped
working on something
that just went
wrong
the day
before

Holding My Niece

-for Dad and his Granddaughter

I know you dream about my Dad,
your Grandpa
How he would look at you and laugh when you squeezed his finger
How it tickled when he would blow on your tummy
to make that funny noise that made you laugh
How his rough hands held you and his arms wrapped you
so warmly against his chest

How he kissed you one last time goodbye
knowing how much happiness you would bring
to Mom and Grandma and Auntie and Me
when he let you come down from heaven
with his blessings and his love

I know you miss him too

So maybe when I hold you
you’ll see your Grandpa,
my Dad,
in me

and you’ll smile because you remember Heaven
and you’ll fall asleep and dream about my Dad

and I’ll get to watch you while you dream of him